Discovering Your Authentic Ambition

Here's a question to ask yourself: "Are you creating your own path through life or are you following the crowd?"

If you look at it, for a good proportion of our lives our paths are relatively controlled or predetermined:

• As young children, we follow our parents around wherever they go. We do not get much of a say in what we eat, what we wear, where we go, or who we spend time with. 
• As soon as we start school the main objective is to educate you to a certain level that gives you a good shot at passing exams, based on the national curriculum and examination boards. We may have some flexibility in what subjects we study for, but we often do not get to select our teachers, timetable, classmates and the topic of the lesson. They are all predetermined for us.
• If we go on to university, we are granted more freedom to an extent, but the path is still fixed. The aim is to finish higher education with a degree of some sort. We can determine what lectures we go to, how we study, and what we spend our time doing, but ultimately they are in service of passing the exam, successfully completing assignments, or writing a dissertation.
• Once we enter the world of work and start a job, the path forward is relatively clear. A proportion of employees would aim for a promotion or the next logical step in their career. This could also mean a sideways move within the company or deciding to change company or career paths. Unless we have no ambition of furthering ourselves there will always be a next step waiting for us. 
• The same could be said of relationships. The generic path is single > dating > relationship > married > married with children > married with grandchildren. Naturally, other paths can also exist such as the relationship ending, getting divorced, deciding not to have children etc. Typically once the path is set the future options become finite. 

I believe that we humans thrive in environments like that, which have structure to them along with a realistic outcome to aim for. The path forward becomes known or predictable and therefore we know what steps to take in order to achieve the outcome we expect. The more that path is taken by people the more information we have to understand what is coming next and how to deal with that. That is why the majority have a traditional education, they are employees in a company, they end up married or divorced and they have children. They are the paths most-followed through life. 

To expand this concept a little bit more let us add in the idea of cause and effect. By the very fact that you exist, you create causes in the world, regardless if those causes are based on your actions or inactions. Also, you cannot have cause without effect so they will always be an effect caused by your action or inaction.

Let us look at two different scenarios:

• Person A never spends any time or effort developing their relationships with their family, friends, or colleagues. The effect of this inaction is that Person A does not have any close connections or people in their life that know them well. 
• Alternatively, person B values their relationships and so makes time for catch-ups with friends and family, organises events that bring people together, and regularly calls their friends that they haven't connected with in a while to see how they are doing. The effect of this action is that Person B is sociable and has a solid support network of people that care.

It is also important to note that we are at the effect of everyone else's causes, no matter how small or large. We cannot control these phenomena, but we can control how we react and respond to what other people say or do.

A point to reflect on is how much of your life is run by reacting to/dealing with the effects of other people's actions compared to how much you are intentionally causing  to happen. 

The good news is that we all have the ability to change our path through life at any moment. All it takes is a decision followed by the relevant action. Personally, I wanted to figure out if there was a framework or way of thinking I could use to guide positive decision-making and my behaviour.

This is where Authentic Ambition comes in. It powerfully combines two concepts that relate to your identity and your purpose. 

Defined this is: "The purpose, plan and drive to create a lifestyle that represents who you truly are"

It is worth noting that focusing on either authenticity or ambition is not as effective as taking them both into account at the same time, in my opinion. 

If I focused on Authenticity, I would greatly benefit from developing self-awareness and understanding the different factors that contribute to who I am. I would start approaching situations as the real me. This would free me from the worry and wasted energy spent putting on a mask to blend in. However, going through life without any sense of ambition would still leave me with unanswered questions:

• What is my purpose? Where do I see myself in the future?
• What should I spend my precious time and energy focused on?
• Am I being proactive or reactive? Is my life happening for me or to me?

Alternatively, if I focused on ambition I would probably have a good sense of what direction I was taking in life and what goals I would like to achieve. I would be future-focused and take the necessary actions daily to get me to where I would like to be. However without authenticity:

• How do I know that my path through life will allow me to fully be myself? 
• Is my ambition just a reflection of the people I look up to and admire? Deep down am I chasing the desire to live their lives and not mine?
• How do I know that my goals won't conflict with my values?
• Will I ever be satisfied with who I am?

On a deeper level, we have to appreciate that who we are (our identity) is linked to our achievements and possessions (our behaviour). If someone gave up smoking for good (a behavioural change) they are able to say "I am a non-smoker now" (an identity change). 

Therefore I believe it's incredibly important to take the time out from our busy routines to really think about who we are and what we want for our lives moving forward. 

So how do you discover your Authentic Ambition?

I believe you can approach it two ways:

1. Define who you truly are, then create a lifestyle that allows you to be yourself.
2. Define your purpose, then define who you are in achieving and living that lifestyle.

Personally, I started by defining my purpose. I wanted to create a long-term vision for my life that could act as my north star. This vision represents a realistic lifestyle that is worth pursuing and dedicating my life towards. Note that this is not a goal. A goal is finite and typically time-bound. This vision is something to be lived, day-in-day-out. 

Based on that vision I could then start to understand and define the type of person I could be in order to live that lifestyle. It provided me with an opportunity to lay out what is important to me and the kind of skills and knowledge I require in order to make progress. It has also allowed me to become more conscious of my behaviour and I can better distinguish between which actions are beneficial and which are detrimental. 

I would like to finish with an uncomfortable truth. All paths taken by any living species will ultimately end up at the same destination. That is inevitable. By accepting this truth, the miracle that is our lives are expressed through the journey we take through life, the people we meet along the way and the experiences that shape who we are. When we pass, we become a story that is shared between those that know of us. 

The questions to ask yourself are:

• What is the path/lifestyle I would like to create for myself?
• What is the story of my life so far and what do I want the rest of the chapters to be about?
• How would I like to be remembered? How do I make sure the people know the real me?

Take the time to see what answers you come up with. It is my hope that they prove enlightening and help you discover your own Authentic Ambition.