How Can I Overcome Fear?

Fear gets to the best of us, whether it is fear of failure, fear of success or even fear of fear. All of us have experienced fear at some point in our lives and it can be a real stumbling block that holds us back from being truly successful.

Fear can’t hold you back forever, if you don’t let it. There are several ways to overcome fear, here are my top 9:

1. Separate reality from perception

Ask yourself what is really going on, locate the facts, and place them over your feelings. 

For example, if you are watching a horror movie, remember that you are probably sat on a comfortable sofa, in the comfort of your own home, and with someone who cares about you. You also have the ability to turn off the movie at any point you choose or leave the room. 

2. Identity the trigger

Figure out what it is in a situation that triggers you. Learning to identify it will help you learn to combat it.

A number of triggers will likely come from childhood, at a time when we were fearful of a number of things. It is important to recognise that as an adult a proportion of these fears are now irrational as they are unlikely to ever do us any real harm. I feel it is important for us to consciously update what we are afraid of. 

3. Know where fear lives in your body

A lot of times, fear takes over physically. It activates our fight, flight or freeze response and this can affect different people in different ways. Identify if/how it affects your physical body and do the work to take care of your body. Ex: if you hold stress in your back, you can learn stretches, foam rolling, etc. to avoid the pain.

If you take prey animals as an example, they too experience fear, but only in short bursts. An antelope that manages to escape a lion will soon go back to grazing. Humans however have the ability to imagine and recall memories. In doing so we can maintain a state of fear for a much longer timeframe. This wreaks havoc on our body as it burns through a lot of energy to keep us hyperalert to what we perceive as imminent threat and danger.  

If this happens to you, use the feeling as an indicator to explore what it is that may be causing your fear and then start to plan out your next steps to remove the fear. This could be moving yourself to a safer environment, rationalising the fear or even facing it head on. Sitting in a hyperalert state is not a healthy long-term strategy for dealing with fear. 

4. Practice gratitude

Everyday, list out 1-3 things you are thankful for. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, gratitude helps shift the mind into a positive light, which over time, overcomes fear.

Keep this list somewhere close and make sure to look at it regularly. When you take note of how much you have going for you in your life, despite the challenges and problems you faced along the way, you will realise that you've had to overcome fear many times in the past already. If you can do it then, you can do it now.

5. Listen to your inner voice

Monitor your inner conversations. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. Speak positively to yourself and remind yourself of your strengths and qualities. 

Often our own inner voice can be our worst critic. By regularly practicing kindness and compassion towards yourself you will soon notice a change. After all there is a benefit to having your inner voice in your corner, motivating you to take that step forward.

6. Create a new association

Remind yourself that the feeling and the moment will pass. Focus on the positive outcome of the situation, rather than the scary in-between.

Any time you find yourself in a new situation it is going to feel daunting and uncertain.

Examples could include: 

• Meeting new people
• Getting a promotion
• The first day of a new job
• Moving to a new country
• Learning to drive for the first time

This is usually because your mind has to determine if there are any threats to be aware of, any new social norms/unwritten rules to follow, along with any new routines and patterns of behaviour. However you will notice that once new routines and patterns are established you will feel more comfortable with your situation. 

You do this all your life, whether you are aware of you doing it or not. As a baby there probably were only a few situations you were comfortable with and yet here you are, as an adult, able to feel comfortable in a much larger number of situations. Therefore there is nothing to say that through experience you will become more comfortable in a even greater number of situations.

7. Look at the glass half full

Perception is a very powerful thing, and how you feel about your situation dictates how you respond. So think positively and you’ll give yourself a much better chance of success. This won’t happen overnight; practice with just one thought:

What is one recurring negative/fearful thought you have?

Work on reversing this one thought. You can think of all the benefits, accomplishments and positive experiences you could have if you took action, despite the fear. The benefit doesn't have to just be limited to you, think of who else could also be positively impacted by your actions.

Over time, this will become a habit. 

8. Practice Breathing Exercises

Breathing helps centre your body; when you stop breathing, your heart stops beating. You can do a grounding exercise, or even just take 5 deep, long breaths at any point to calm and centre yourself. It is best to start your day with this, but feel free to practice throughout the day.

Breathing exercises helps you to become present, which is to say that you become aware of your body and where you actually are, rather than stuck with your fearful thoughts or imagination. 

9. Create a safe space

When you feel safe and secure, there is no room for fear. Find somewhere safe you can retreat to when ill feelings begin- whether this is a real place such as your bedroom, or a place in your mind such as the beach. This sense of comfort will soothe you and allow you to face your fear.

Please keep in mind, these are just 9 strategies, not everything works for everyone. But this is a place to start. Start implementing these techniques into your life and don’t let fear hold you back from reaching your goals and your highest potential!